Aarushi's interview yesterday went on for 1hr 40 mins - it was in a group, so of course each child was not interviewed for that long but even then it is a long time for the children to be inside AND for the parents outside! The stress on the parents who gulped down coffee and tea in litres was too obvious.
posted by Tuya @ 13:26
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I have heard as soon as you become parents you get not only your child but also a small bag of guilt which you always carry around with you - but I wonder how many times I need to peep into it!
We took Arunav for eye check 3 years back.... when the doc said,'oh he has no issues.' Last month, we were shocked when he could not read a really big billboard and that's when we realized his eye check is overdue. Today the doc said he has -3.25 power in each eye which made that little bag of guilt I was carrying suddenly inflate itself into a hot air balloon. The doc said, it has grown over the years you just detected it late (which of course did not really prick that balloon)....
BUT Arunav is super excited - yayy, can I have my glasses today! The doc gave me a very amused look - crestfallen me and elated Arunav.
posted by Tuya @ 18:42
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and do we really realize when and how we slowly creep into it?
I was doing my routine. Reading them books at bedtime - I was explaining what a thimble is....and Aarushi asked,
'But mamma - what IS a needle and what is stitching?'
For one shocking moment I realized, she has never till date seen a needle nor has she seen anyone stitching. We hardly get any tears; they outgrow their dresses before they tear....
It made me feel uncomfortable of the world around me - suddenly it felt so unreal. But that unreality is real now....
posted by Tuya @ 21:23
2 comments
I write every year at this time. This time of the year always affects me so deeply. The school interview time. It deeply affects me because I watch the little children and their parents. I cannot decide for whom my heart feels more. There is something wrong in the system that every year I cannot but feel 'this is not right'. Yet I dont know any other way.
I was sitting in C - one of the famous international schools in HK. Aarushi had gone in for her interview. Unlike our first time there with Arunav, I was relaxed and knew it was not the end of the world. I also knew my relaxation had a threshold (it was not like I was watching a funny movie!). And so was Aarushi's - she knew it was not a 'playdate'!
As I sat with the sun streaming down my back, sipping a warm cup of tea - there came this heart-rending cry of a child echoing in that huge high-ceiling hall "I AM SOOORRRRY PAPA". The cup in my hand trembled at the sound - it really pierced through me. And it came on and on - again and again 'I am sorry papa" as the child wailed away.
The little 3 year old was standing outside the interview hall - his pants wet, mortified look on his face and still crying the same words. It was all I could do to control my tears. I saw the same look in the face of the 3 parents sitting across me....
And even now as I sit and write this I cannot forget that howl. And we think we are very convincing when we tell them "dont worry you will just go in and play"!
posted by Tuya @ 09:58
2 comments
I return today. The other world rests.
So there is this article which created so much furor.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html
When I first read it, yes I was shocked and thought this must be a joke.
But then I saw it making the rounds everywhere, saw the outraged comments, some favourable comments - I realized it is not such a bad thing after all. Even if it was done by media for publicity of upcoming book, etc. It set people thinking; people who were sitting cushily on their chairs and parenting just like they would drink a cup of tea - it made them sit up, think, debate and made parenting an active job, the process of which also needs to be reviewed.
For me, it set me thinking after my initial outrage. Yes, actually children dont need freedom in many aspects of their life and if they are given that freedom - they feel very uncomfortable, they dont know where the boundaries are.
But the fun aspect should never be taken away. In fact, no playdates shocked me and then I realized in lot of these playdates the kids enjoy for a while before they end up being miserable due inevitable fights. However, what I dont know is if I keep them away from playdates will they develop their EQ of how to interact with others well enough?
Choosing the musical instruments for them - why not? I remember a very informed lady who has been running one of the most famous kindergartens had once told me.
Children independence is sometimes overrated. I have parents who come and tell me they ask the 4/5 year old children to choose which school they want to go to. That is being stupid, children cannot make such choices! But do you need to choose their toy for them - no that they should choose.
It made lot of sense to me - so yeah, after I sat back and thought - I still dont agree with many of the stuff in the article but I certainly have more overall respect for it.
posted by Tuya @ 16:02
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