What are my limits when the stakes go high
Last Saturday Arunav(him only, without parents) had a school interview, it went on for over 1 hour and he seemed fine after he came out.
I had prepared myself (for days!) not to pressurise Arunav on this - no matter how tensed I feel and how disappointing it might be if he refuses to go in with the teacher alone. I distinctly remember our last experience of the same. Arunav was 2 yrs 4 months, he was supposed to go in all alone and he simply refused. We coaxed (read pressurised) him for a long time. I was angry why he could not walk in with a stranger into a strange room full of strangers!! When I think back I cannot believe I did that, I cannot believe I could become so inhuman. We were so paranoid about how to get Arunav into a good school...... when I speak this I know I am not the only HK parent who has gone through this. Schooling is such a difficult proposition here. People actually apply to schools when they become pregnant for the child till unborn....anyway I digress.
The experience made me realize, how one responds to a situation depends on how high the stakes are. My erstwhile boss had once told me, I am honest means nothing - you need to know till what limit you are honest.....you need to know that limit for every person you interact with. I need to know the limits of myself.
Aarushi and chicken pox
Aarushi got the dreaded one just a few days after we came back from India. It was amazing how well she took it. She of course had no idea what was going on and except for one or 2 days when she was not her usual bubbly self - she has been great. She did not try to scratch a single blister and she just played and ate as if nothing happened.
But the effect on Arunav was very different from what I imagined - some playdates got cancelled because of worried mothers. What touched me most was how good his school was. When I informed them about it, the school supervisor just said he is welcome to school so long as he himself is feeling well. He is about as infectious as a toy shop - it was such a relief to hear that. I thought he will be at home for 3 weeks(incubation period) and that would be a torture for him!! I love his school.
Hays, Cowdungs and Tubewell
We are still reminiscing the great India Trip that we had. This is Arunav watching the thrashing of hay to separate the grains of rice. Arunav could only have experienced this in Shyampur. He saw the grains of rice hanging from the hay and then getting thrashed out. He also touched the cowdungs and made us do so too ! I wanted him to get it from the basics :) as basic as it gets.
To be Loving with the people we love the most
Yesterday Barbara told something which is so true. "It is hardest to be loving with the people we care about the most." This was in context of raising kids but the words touched such a chord in me. I have often wondered why I hurt the people who means the world to me - those words made lot of sense. We also discussed how we can choose our friends based on the personality types that match with our temperament, but we dont have a choice about our kids and parents :)
Happy New Year: "Can you be happy mamma?"
We came back from India yesterday. The trip was so good - it was great to watch Arunav with his cousins - he got so much attention and he was basking in the glory :)
After all that, today was particularly trying with feeding time being such an issue....so I was feeling quite down. When it came to dinner time, Arunav finally chewed a mouthful after lot of coaxes and threats and looked up and very simply said,"I finished - can you now be happy mummum?" I did not know what to say except smile. I guess that is the greatest gift we can give our kids - just being happy ourselves.
