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A Mama's World: August 2009
A Mama's World
Monday, August 31, 2009
Aarushi @ 2.5: First day in school
It was her first day today without mamma and she was soooo cool about it. She just gave the happy smile when she spotted me during pick-up. This is such a contrast to what I went through Arunav - I am so relieved. I learnt from the mistakes I made during Arunav's time and that helped in her settling - but even then she had to go through the process.....I am now praying the toughest day - the second/third day is equally breeeeezy!
At last the birthday party invitations of Aarushi's friends are also trickling in - she is used to going to only 'dada's friends' parties. Yesterday was her friend, Tom's party and she is one girl who loves monkeying around (as is evident!).....she went plain crazy with all the monkey stuff :) I am glad she is and I am hoping she never gets too much into the princess and tiara stuff....
Arunav doesnt fancy writing his summer journal now..... it is done as a chore which he tries to wriggle out of using thousand excuses.
I would have loved to be the mother who praised every effort of his and did not criticise the forgotten 'capital after full-stop', 'found instead of fuond' - but I did and I feel miserable and responsible for his 'dont like writing journal' attitude. I did praise him for many of the stuff - but I think it is more important "to not criticise" than "to praise".
Why is it so hard to keep up with the "mother I want to be" :(
Happy to have built it himself - having lot of fun playing with the gear mechanism. This is one wonderful gift he has got for his birthday from a dear friend of mine. It's called 'Georello Toolbox' from Quercetti - one of the 'Quercetti Gear' collections. Has tons of gear related toys kids can construct - Arunav was kicked that his bicycle had a similar chain-gear which made it go :)
Arunav had his Party yesterday. They had just too much fun - which does away with this lingering doubt I always have whether we need such gala stuff everytime .... when you see them so full of life and excitement I again get convinced - well, perhaps it's worth it. And I know we need to do it for Aarushi too this time - she is soooo waiting for "My Party next time" :) Yesterday she said,"Dada, it's my turn next time you know!" Do we spoil them by building up such expectations? I will always be in two minds :(
While talking to an old school friend, glimpses of some moments gone long past just flashed by. She was unfortunate enough to lose her mother at a very young age(we were in 8th standard-just stepped into teens) and it was very sudden. It was shocking for me too since we stayed in the same neighbourhood and I went to her house pretty often. I vividly remember that afternoon when I went to visit after getting the news and the grief in the household just overwhelmed me - I had never come face to face with death before that and the state of my friend and her siblings just choked me. I used to be a pretty composed personality at that time but that day I couldnt help holding onto the broken window rails and weeping away my heart.....I remember the setting sun shining in through the window and lending more pathos to the whole atmosphere. I was surprised that with my grief was a fear of what if the same happens to us(me, my bro and bapi). I stood near the window and silently shed tears of sorrow and fear. I couldnt stay for long - I ran back home shaking like a leaf. When my mother asked I just told her I didnt want to talk about it.
When Arunav, Aarushi wakes up at night and cries for me - they may not be feeling that insecure - for they still dont know what they should fear - but I cannot and I shouldnt belittle their insecurities ......
There is this lovely place a little beyond Peak which we love - it has grass - the rare commodity in HK and beautiful flora around. We went there today and they loved collecting leaves, climbing trees(Aarushi had to be perched up and she stayed there) and jumping over rocks on a little stream....
"It's not what I have been through that defines me, it's how I got through it. " "If a door closes behind you, just lock it and leave it - it closed for a very good reason. "
and this one made me laugh(I dont agree with it completely though :)
"You never grow up....you just learn how to behave in public." Part of it is true - so many times in parenting, I have to tell them 'we speak softly in public places' (i cannot imagine them being soft anywhere else), 'we dont run around in library/public places' - yup :)
Arunav was the reason I started my blog and today is 5 years to that. He had 5 gifts(set of Thomas erasers, TimTam chocolate, Water-gun, pack of Gummy Bears and a Police Gun-set) today in the form of a treasure hunt when he woke up in the morning. I am glad he was excited and enjoyed. He treasured most the gift from his 'aunty' - a Car-set which transforms to lot of stuff!
Just realized there are too many birthdays in Aug - I am continuously posting titles 'Happy Birthday' :)
I did not foresee the colour-mistaken flag will create controversy :) I received several feedbacks on the colour - which is much appreciated. It set me wondering whether I should have at all posted a not-perfect output of my son - fact is I am still proud of his effort. I did not suggest him to write 'I love India' - he did it himself and it made me so damn glad . I know he made the colour mistake but he knows the right one now and that's all that matters to me!
Probably the most beautiful woman is Ms. Universe or Ms. World, but my mother is always more beautiful :) and so is India !
Arunav's drawing in his summer journal today - makes me feel so proud - just the sight of that flag(even though he made the common mistake of confusing the colours)!
Once we are moms of 2 and get as old as I am - it pretty much boils down to that 'HBD to me' :) Yesterday Arunav and I went to watch 'UP' - I asked Arunav how come mama is giving you a gift by showing a movie on mama's b'day? You are supposed to give one to me! He said,'This(movie) can be return gift from you to me!' :)
Fesitivity day for them. The Rakhis for children nowadays is really very cute and contemporary(in kid's world) with Ben 10, Harry Porter characters strewn all over!
Lots of people have families, friends, well-wishers, loved ones - how do people who have no one in this world feel? How lonely can loneliness get? My papa had no one before he got married - how lonely did he feel ? Too late for me to ask, too late for me to know.
If there were dreams to sell, What would you buy? Some cost a passing bell; Some a light sigh, That shakes from Life's fresh crown Only a rose-leaf down. If there were dreams to sell, Merry and sad to tell, And the crier rang the bell, What would you buy?
Playing with the pond water and the snails at the edge was mighty thrilling for both of them. We went just for a day and they picked tons of fruits and flowers(yes, one place where it is not forbidden to pick them!), had as many mosquito bites(mama forgot the spray) and slept for 12 hrs after all that excitement :)
The learning we got from being there for 1.5 months in our summer hols is invaluable and I am so trying to make that up by giving them even a day if possible. Aarushi was not too keen of the wild grass though 'Mama they r pricky'!
Arunav was happy he got to pick guavas and saw custard apple and grapefruits hanging from the branches!
It was her first day today without mamma and she was soooo cool about it. She just gave the happy smile when she spotted me during pick-up. This is such a contrast to what I went through Arunav - I am so relieved. I learnt from the mistakes I made during Arunav's time and that helped in her settling - but even then she had to go through the process.....I am now praying the toughest day - the second/third day is equally breeeeezy!
