Role of 'others'
It is common knowledge how everyone in the society adds to the development of a child. Today was a holiday, Aarushi went for a playdate, Arunav was at home. I gave Arunav the little painting canvas gifted by S and asked him if he would like to try? (He hates drawing and art!) He said,'OK, I will try.' He sat and worked at the black parts and once finished said,'I am done.' I asked,'Why dont you try a bit more and just finish, it does not matter whether it is very good or not.' He relaxed more and kept working and this was the result. It made me incredibly happy and grateful to S - only because she gifted it! I would never buy such a thing because of his lack of interest. It made me happy, the fact that Arunav tried and did a decent job - it is probably something a talented 3 year old can do, but I dont care - for me it is so satisfying that he ventured into an uncomfortable zone and did a good job.... Thanks to all the people around us who knowingly unknowingly make such a difference in the overall growth of a child.
The curse of abundance
Aarushi turned 5. We had a BBQ party which was quite crazy to organize specially bcoz of rain forecast. It didnt rain but was cold and wet, so we went indoors after quickly BBQing the food. It was so crazily busy that I forgot to put on the birthday gown on Aarushi during cake cutting time. Everyone enjoyed the food, the cake and the entertainer - what more could we want?
After the party, none of us opened the presents - there was no further interest. Next year, that money should go for charity. Honestly, even the kids have no wants that can be fulfilled by the presents.... the curse of abundance is the loss of wonder and excitement.
A few more hours, a few more moments
I so need a few more hours to the day.
Just a few more, and I will be there.
There's no moment to dream, there's no moment to die.
There's just the chance to live, and the moments fly by.
Am I happy, am I sad?
To think, if only a moment I had.
Chess tournament
Arunav had a chess tournament yesterday starting at 9.00 finishing at 5.00. It was hard on the nerves for the little children and adults, but it was amazing to see how much more resilient they are - I know it sounds cliche! But it is amazing when you see it.
Having never been to such level competition and being one of the youngest (it does matter, specially the concentration level and maturity to take longer to make moves), he lost the first match in exactly 5 minutes. He came out as if nothing has happened, tried to talk of other things, went to the toilet and then talked about the match. He said,' I dont know why I kept making silly moves.' After a little bit of talk, he felt better and when asked whether he felt like going in there again for the next round, he gave a surprised look and said,' Of course!'
I was impressed by that spirit in ALL the children. They lost, they went in again - lost again, yet they were enthusiastic to go in again - and then they won! He won two matches, which is not a lot but is very impressive considering he is playing for only 4 months now, first time in any competition and without any proper coaching. We felt so happy when the professional coach came and told us,'He is a natural - he just needs training.'
Counting blessings
The intricacies of the human mind
is more than I can understand;
It is kind, it's cruel at the same time.
I had a lovely evening yesterday, though the day had many surprises not so pleasant. Sometimes the kids can take away your tiredness with daily life. They played the piano, they played around, laughter rang through the room, they ran to hug me and at bed they listened wide eyed to me reading "The Mouse and the Motorcycle". No one can inflate your ego as much as a kid.
They always behave that way, it is me, who many a time, forget to be thankful for them.
Judging
is that last thing moms should do to other moms... Come on girls - you have been through it or are going through it, you know how difficult it is. There's no clarity on the path ahead, you have no instructions on what is right or what is wrong, you just have your brains,some past learning told to you and your feelings to guide you. So many times you know you made a mistake, so why do you pass a judgement on other moms? Believe me they are doing their best and please do not judge the mom by the child. I cringe everytime someone says, 'I am sure the parents must be teaching them, else how can a child think and behave that way.' I cringe - a child CAN behave nasty without being taught by any parent to do so - I am still to come across a parent who teaches their child to be nasty. Children are not robots whose programming was done by the parents! Yes, parents do shape children but I think to what extent is often over-estimated by many.
OK, no I am not angry - I just felt pathetic for a parent on whom the above judgements were being passed.... There are so many times Arunav and Aarushi has behaved in a way which has really embarassed me and I feel mortified to think that I am supposed to carry the blame of that - why? Kids always try to push the boundary to see what is really the acceptable limit, why should parents be blamed for everytime they try to do that? I dont even know this mother on whom the judgement was being passed, but I was trying to put myself in her situation and I really felt for her.
Roots
The movie 'schooling the world' affected me a lot. So much so, I could not speak to voice my own opinion, I sure could have talked more 'if I felt less'. It had all the ingredients that appealed to the inner me... the quotes, the Tagore, it was something that shook up everyone in the room... the lady from Ecuador, the Irish girl, the Venezuelan guy - yes, it appealed to everyone who belongs to the 'common "educated" culture' and yet at heart retains the native culture, the beauty, the human-ness that makes us humans first!
One more hike
I loved the short but beautiful hike today. The day was cool and as we walked up the mountains, slowly casting off our wind cheaters, the sun emerged and shone on us with a welcome smile. We have even done a 7 hour hike (lost trail) with A&A, so today's 3 hour one was short but hard. When we came back home around 3.30pm, we were all happy to relax, rest and drink clear soup!
On the relax and rest session, I asked Aarushi,' Do you love mama most?' She took a quick look back at papa who was busy with something else, thought for a while and then whispered to my ears, 'yes.'
Arunav's farewell to S
When the kids go to school, and I sit near the window, a book, a cup of tea - I say a small thank you for just being. To whom is my thank you, I dont know.
The months they passed by, the hairs they have greyed,
I dont look old, I still look happy and gay.
She asked me, why dont you dye your hair;
I realized I could smile and think,'I really dont care.'
Arunav's very good friend left Hong Kong. We went to bid them goodbye at night, we had dinner and the boys played till midnight even though they had a flight at 11.00 next morning. Next morning, Arunav woke up at 6.30 and asked me,'Mamma am I late to say bye to S? Can we go to the airport?' I woke up with groggy eyes and wondered what to say... we would have to leave at 7.30 if we have to see them and that also for probably 20 minutes.... it's quite crazy, but then it IS about being crazy and in my heart I still dont believe in being sensible about these.
So 7.30 in the morning we went and it being HK Marathon weekend, it took us ages before we reached and before we came back. At return, Arunav just said,'Mamma, it took long but it was worth it.' That's the crazy son of the crazy mama 'If you dont love too much you dont love enough'.
And this post is to A, without whose insistence I would not have come back.
It is common knowledge how everyone in the society adds to the development of a child. Today was a holiday, Aarushi went for a playdate, Arunav was at home. I gave Arunav the little painting canvas gifted by S and asked him if he would like to try? (He hates drawing and art!) He said,'OK, I will try.' He sat and worked at the black parts and once finished said,'I am done.' I asked,'Why dont you try a bit more and just finish, it does not matter whether it is very good or not.' He relaxed more and kept working and this was the result. It made me incredibly happy and grateful to S - only because she gifted it! I would never buy such a thing because of his lack of interest. It made me happy, the fact that Arunav tried and did a decent job - it is probably something a talented 3 year old can do, but I dont care - for me it is so satisfying that he ventured into an uncomfortable zone and did a good job.... Thanks to all the people around us who knowingly unknowingly make such a difference in the overall growth of a child.
