By the River Cam and then by the Hudson...
When we dropped Arunav, we had walked by the River Cam for days. It gave us clarity and obscurity both at the same time. The autumn mist floating over the house boats in our early morning walks were symbolic of the emotional haze and perplexity in our minds. We did not try to grapple with it. We just walked with it and let our tricky brain do what it did.
Today I walked alone after dropping off a tired and sleepy Aarushi to her class. She is trying to grapple with the challenges of a daunting university in addition to handling a daunting city. It is not going to be easy. My only consolation is that she has an amazing ability to make daunting look easy. She does it with ease and grace.
The day was bright and sunny with a slight touch of chill, unlike River Cam's grey mistiness and distinct cold which required us to put on layers. I accompanied her in the Lyft ride so she could sleep peacefully the whole way. (She said she anyway does that and I had to warn her she should never sleep when alone in a cab!) The students were swarming in through the main entrance with the blue sky and golden sunshine sparkling over them. The campus looked vibrant. The students - some sleepy, some alert, some pensive, some eager.... gave a life to the bricks and stones around them; the green lawn made lusher by their presence, the blue sky deeper, the sun shinier. One cannot but feel alive. I reluctantly guided my footsteps away from the sight.
While my mind's eye hovered in that sprightly beauty of the main entrance, my physical presence was surrounded by somber notes of the Riverside Park just a few steps away from the campus. We have been told not to get to that side in the early and late hours of the day. It was quiet and desolate at 10am. I could understand the warnings. I pulled my thoughts away from the romanticism of the youthful campus and focused on my surroundings. The youth and the old are equally vulnerable. I made my way into the park while taking in sights of the neighbourhood. A hall giving away old and used clothes with a crowd around it. A solitary figure on the left bench, lackadaisical posture. An old person with tattered shoes walking the dog.
I went in.
The patch of green grass had the sun playing on it through the shade of the leaves moving in the wind. A family sat with a toddler around. I went nearer to the river. I walked towards downtown keeping the Hudson to my right and the University to the left. After some time I could make my way to the jogger’s path, named Manhattan Waterfront, right by the
river. It cleared my mind of all remnants of the city. The sun sparkled on the
flowing river. “The mind blanks at the glare…”
The walkers walked. The
joggers jogged. The runners ran.
The cyclists whizzed past with a fierceness fitting New
York City. The passers by did not vibe with each other. Their dogs were with
them. Their partner was with them. Their kids were with them. They needed none
in the path. The Canada geese flew across that same path and watched all of us.
The fast and the slow; the lonely and the accompanied.
I was walking brisk. None along the way caught my attention.
A bird — it looked like a goose but it was not the normal Canada goose — flew
in from the river and perched itself on the river side park. Somehow that
prompted me to sit by the grass and the water. It prompted me to breathe, feel
and let go.
The sun with the wind chill gently warmed me. The sound of
water lapping the stones soothed me. Millions buzzing in this huge city and the
loneliness of each soul palpable. A million things to do in this huge city and
the lack of soul in the purpose was palpable.
Or was this a projection? What I was seeing on the outside,
just a reflection of what was happening inside me?
As I walked out of the waterfront to 55th Street, I passed by an elderly couple both on walkers. The traffic light did not give them enough time to cross the wide road. Their flimsy walker kept getting stuck on the uneven and eroded tar of the road. The light turned red. People hurried past. By habit, I looked back. They were unable to move. The traffic patiently waited. I turned back into the road and lifted the walker out of the dent it was stuck in. The man was having to drag his feet with the support of the walker. The woman had to operate her walker and the man’s. She kept saying how tired she was while thanking me. It took us one whole traffic light cycle to move out of the road. The city traffic waited patiently. Not a soul stepped out. Not another soul stopped by.
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