Insecurity
While talking to an old school friend, glimpses of some moments gone long past just flashed by. She was unfortunate enough to lose her mother at a very young age(we were in 8th standard-just stepped into teens) and it was very sudden. It was shocking for me too since we stayed in the same neighbourhood and I went to her house pretty often.
I vividly remember that afternoon when I went to visit after getting the news and the grief in the household just overwhelmed me - I had never come face to face with death before that and the state of my friend and her siblings just choked me. I used to be a pretty composed personality at that time but that day I couldnt help holding onto the broken window rails and weeping away my heart.....I remember the setting sun shining in through the window and lending more pathos to the whole atmosphere.
I was surprised that with my grief was a fear of what if the same happens to us(me, my bro and bapi). I stood near the window and silently shed tears of sorrow and fear. I couldnt stay for long - I ran back home shaking like a leaf. When my mother asked I just told her I didnt want to talk about it.
When Arunav, Aarushi wakes up at night and cries for me - they may not be feeling that insecure - for they still dont know what they should fear - but I cannot and I shouldnt belittle their insecurities ......
posted by Tuya @ 14:43
2 Comments:
i want to confess something....i am very very frightened inside that something might happen to my children as it happened to me,i don't want to die till my children can do everything on their own and my hubby does not feel the need to call me everytime he wakes up.i don't want to snatch away my children's chilhood. why did u bring out my innermost emotions?
we can pray, truly "more things are wrought by prayers than this world dreams of..."
Will pray for you too dear.
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