Eternal debate
As I reflect on what more I can do in life as my kids become older, I often get into this debate with my friends - the eternal debate of "working mom's child" and "non-working mom's child". (Though one other friend had once told me "non-working mom" is an oxymoron - and of course I liked to hear that :)
I really would have loved to know which child grows up better. For me statistics is meaningless - e.g. if statistics says 60% working mom's kids perform better in life - it really doesn't mean anything to me. There are so many questions attached to that, what is 'better in life', what if my child happens to be one of the 40%....and irrespective of all that, I really am hoping that I dont get into that vicious loop where I fool myself in believing that what I am doing today is for an end result. I am trying to keep myself out of that illusion - I want to believe I am doing what I do only for now and for today. If they feel happy now with what I do for them - that is and that should remain satisfaction enough for me.
If someday that ceases to be my satisfaction - THAT should be the day I should think of letting them be and do something which will give me that satisfaction.
Yet I am not there for them all the time - I go for my French lessons, I go out and dine with friends(even when the kids are yet to go to bed), I dont feed them(most of the time) and I dont think I need to be glued to them to be 'with' them, but I like to listen to them when they come back from school, like their excitement when I say I may pick them up oneday. It's simple everyday happiness that matters - not always the end result.
posted by Tuya @ 14:42
4 Comments:
You are one confused mom and made me confused too.I too have started to think should i do this or that...
ha ha, toke abar kise confuse korlam? - but i am not confused, i write to straighten out my thoughts and re-emphasize to myself when others try to confuse me.....
well put, sulata; revisited ur blog today and as u wrote, the day u stop deriving any satisfaction from the here and now, THAT is the time to start doing something else. i have to say that u are one of the few moms who seems to be (judging by ur blog post, that is!) looking beyond the superficialities of the eternal work/home question.
Thanks Aparna - yes, I am struggling to keep myself focussed, there's so much pressure to the contrary(specially bcoz of studying in IIM etc etc) - all my well wishers so obviously it sets me thinking :)
I want to find something which I can do without giving up the simple joys with my kids - as I am sure all moms want :))
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