Hard days
One of those days when I do not know whether I did good or I did bad. I had to do something, but I do not like the repercussions and yet the repercussions are not in my hand. If a child bullies, what the child is doing is bad - but the child is not. I would tell the child the same way as I would tell my own, not to say hurtful words and that would be the end of it. If I have to tell a parent about the child, what action the parent takes on the child is not in my hand (and it should not be), yet I feel terribly bad for the child and guilty of being indirectly responsible for whatever action is taken on the child. I feel guilty to tell the parent also because I took their peace of mind away.
Is my guilt misplaced? Possibly. Yet, I cannot always explain why I feel what I feel. I just know that I do. So my day today from start to end was made of having to do endless such 'have-to-do' items which just progressively made me feel miserable, leaving me feeling sick and in tears at the end.
Do I sound ridiculous as a friend said? Or could I have done something differently? I do not see how - I guess I am growing into that sort of person who hates conflict.
posted by Tuya @ 22:58
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