Tuesday, September 09, 2025

By the River Cam and then by the Hudson...

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When we dropped Arunav, we had walked by the River Cam for days. It gave us clarity and obscurity both at the same time. The autumn mist flo...
Tuesday, June 11, 2024

Ben, Arunav and a statement.

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Their exams are over. Another year gone by.  Arunav said he wanted to get back to maths after a few days of relaxing and enjoying. How much ...
Sunday, June 09, 2024

A death and a visit

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So papaji passed away on 27th May. Alone. On a train. Anjali, Binny, Achintya came to meet us today. They just talked. They just hugged. We ...
Thursday, January 18, 2024

To a Scholar

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It was a cold January in 2007. In Hong Kong. We stood outside Canadian International School of Hong Kong, with a 2 year 4 months old Arunav ...
Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Rain and Storm

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And it blew And it poured.... It was chilly outside. The chill in the body was more. The living room was warm. The chill in the body could n...
Tuesday, January 03, 2023

Ma turns 80

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She turns 80 today. I made 2 types of her favourite payesh - Chushi payesh with nolen gur and gobindo bhog payesh. I also made cheerer pulao...
Thursday, November 17, 2022

Silence

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Is inevitable. Yet we stay in denial, we want to stay in denial. How hard it is to accept the finality of silence. Final. Silence. Peace.
Sunday, November 13, 2022

L'autumne

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My 27 year old self spoke to me. Yesterday. Through a friend who preserved an email I had sent in those times when emails were a luxury. The...
Thursday, March 24, 2022

Doubt-Humility; Pride-Esteem... and a Self.

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I have never been one who was conscious of my eccentricities albeit I was aware of them. One will always know what differentiates one from a...
Monday, February 28, 2022

The Uncle

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There are times when I accept the replacement, rejection, choice and there are times when I am in so much pain that I have to relive the bea...
Sunday, February 27, 2022

Honesty, PV and an unlikely deep friendship

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It was the 20th of Jan.  The seaside breeze blew into our hairs. The sun shimmered onto the blue water which glistened in glee. We were walk...
Tuesday, February 22, 2022

Projection!!

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Nothing hurts more than when your pain is denied and doubted. It is called a "projection" of your mind. The countless nights witho...
Monday, February 21, 2022

The Teacher

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Mr. Andrew Mollitt. A teacher who transformed Arunav's journey in mathematics .... and yet he says today,"I am not sure I have taug...
Saturday, February 19, 2022

M and More

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M wrote today. We have not talked for so long but when does that ever matter. She reminded me of who I was and who I am. How invaluable is t...
Friday, February 18, 2022

A Teacup and The Tea

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A pale pinkish porcelain cup which was so thin that it glowed when I moved myself to have the light behind it. I, of course, could not dream...
Sunday, January 23, 2022

Bapi

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It was 2009. I have consoled so many with my experience of processing the pain. The bleak days. How it stays - the loss is permanent. How I ...
Sunday, January 09, 2022

Loss, Home and a tryst with Tokyo

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Every joy craves sharing. When a connection is lost, it is that sharing that is severed and hence the pain from the loss of the share. The p...
Sunday, January 02, 2022

Re-New

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It is that very happy season of New Year. Fresh hopes, Fresh starts. The happiness of "fresh starts" however, stems from the comfo...
Thursday, December 16, 2021

A walk and spoiled eggs

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"A" has a calmness about her and a cuteness about her. While we walked up and down the terrain on a hot day, she said, "I try...
Saturday, December 11, 2021

Charlie Brown

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Every day, I spend laughing, smiling. Just existing and  Every night, I spend slowly With the remnants of pain. I don't leave it in the ...
Sunday, November 14, 2021

The Delight

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That is what Poolak means. He was in charge of RSS - Rate Setting System in Citi Tokyo. He was bald and had a round face-n-body when I first...
Friday, August 20, 2021

To SBA Kaku

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I have so much to tell - the joy and the pain intermingled, makes it difficult though. I can express the joy. The pain, not really. I cannot...
Wednesday, June 02, 2021

Goodbye

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Goodbyes are always hard. One left at the airport, with a smile  A sure wish to meet again A sure promise to smile again. The other left the...
Sunday, May 30, 2021

Clay and Pain

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The clay formed in my hands, fingers. It formed in my mind. It took shape through the grief. The hand moves and gives shape  to what the hea...
Friday, May 28, 2021

Walking with Rusan

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It was free, simple. Not exciting, not exhilarating. Just quiet and nice. No rush, no pressures. After a night of not a wink, it was a walk ...
Saturday, May 15, 2021

There's a silence

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There's a silence. So still, I can hear my heart beat. It still does. Miraculously. The night is peaceful and dark. So still, I can hear...
Wednesday, September 02, 2015

One more autumn leaf

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So we try again and again and... Not to let that last leaf fall We stick it up We tie it up We hold it up We wish it up... It stil...
Tuesday, March 24, 2015

The pundit

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He sat chanting the mantras  Loud, clear, booming. Echoing around the room. Peace, Serenity, in spite of the pain and tears. The m...
Monday, March 16, 2015

Svaha

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Svaha. The body is gone. Maybe the soul lingers To watch the tears To watch the pain To watch the sorrow. Some spe...
Thursday, February 26, 2015

An evening muse

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So yes, I write because I cannot but - When I do not I have withdrawal symptoms :) This happened sometime back, but I feel like keeping ...
Friday, January 09, 2015

Too quick too fast

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Right after my post yesterday came the news of cancer again. My friend and someone I feel close to - whether she does or not, is immateri...
Thursday, January 08, 2015

An end and a start

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Another year passed by, another year began. I guess old people talk like this. If this is a necessary and sufficient condition, I am old -...
Thursday, November 13, 2014

A visit to Willing Hearts

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A few hands, a few chops, a few hours off the idle days; What a lot of difference to those who have  no hands to feed them anymore. ...
Thursday, November 06, 2014

Winter in Singapore

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is indicated by a slight chill as early as 5.30am. The sun on my balcony moved at an angle. It streamed in at 9am earlier and now it is smil...
Friday, September 19, 2014

Philosophy

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Interesting conversation I had with the big A last night. It made us all sleep late - but astute observation nevertheless. He said, while ...
Friday, September 12, 2014

Camp

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Both As back from camp. Aarushi after 2 days (1 night) and Arunav after 5 days. Both crashed to sleep. Both could not stop talking :)
Wednesday, September 03, 2014

A Happy 10th Birthday

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A birthday so different and so fulfilling. Surrounded by new kids so welcoming and open - they beat hands down the ones who knew him for 6 y...
Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Kids in the newland

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While this old hag misses her old setting and comfort zone, the kids so far are having a blast in their new environment. They had 3 birthd...
Sunday, August 03, 2014

Migration without change

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The sunset that is never ending The price that one never stops paying; The listless, dry haze that covers the day, Is more painful than ...
Friday, June 20, 2014

The quiet one

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The one whose name is not always splashed in the news...be it newspaper or newsletters. She steals the show quietly or so the teachers said ...